A positive outlook

Two years ago, I wrote a list of simple truisms. Since then I have come a long way psychologically and emotionally. Here are a few more things I’ve learned about living life to the full.

1. Confidence is just learning not to feel insecure. Insecurity is a natural feeling that we all get from time to time. But, you can choose not to feel insecure (or challenge the feeling) about a situation. It doesn’t mean you have to be good at something or that the outcome must necessarily be pleasant. Your security should not depend on your performance. (What baby sips milk slowly because it is worried that mother would think it greedy?) So next time you walk into a situation that makes you feel small, say I’m going to do it anyway! The more you do, the more confidence you will build.

2. Savour and enjoy everything. If you’re not “in the moment” then get out of there. Even unpleasant things have some positive aspect to focus your thoughts on. At the very least, you can think about what the unpleasant things will allow you to achieve (or how you are serving God). If you really can’t think of anything enjoyable about a situation, you need to get out.

3. Take control of your life. Depression comes partially from the feeling that you can’t change anything. If you realise that you always have a choice (they might not be the choices you most want) and can make a difference to your life (no matter how small), that is the first step to making the changes you need. And when things work out, take credit for it (even if it was mainly down to luck). Treat yourself with a reward.

4. See life as full of opportunities. There are so many things you can do with your time and resources. Granted you probably aren’t interested in most of those options, but there are so many opportunities that you can’t seriously be sitting down doing nothing!

5. Reframe challenges as activities (or at least learning experiences). Some people see obstacle courses as playgrounds; others see it as a torture device. When you’re faced with a difficult situation, make it fun or interesting.

6. Many things in life just don’t matter. Don’t fight every battle. Don’t expect things to have to be a certain way. Don’t let yourself be driven by others’ expectations of you. Above all, don’t expect that you always need to perform at your best. All champions will lose once in a while. Sometimes you just need to let things just “be”.