Depression

Chronic stress is toxic to the soul
The natural response to discouragement is to withdraw
To withdraw from the things that maintain good health – physically, mentally, socially and spiritually
Eventually this will lead to depression (hopelessness), frustration (anger) and anxiety (fear)

Domains of Life: Spiritual – Psychological – Mental – Body – Social
And where is your centre?

How does one build resilience and maintain good health? We all have 24 hours each day. We should aim to reduce the soul-destroying (frustrating, boring) activities and events of the day. And aim instead to maximise the healthy outcome of those 24 hours. Develop good health habits:

• rest well
• get sunlight, avoid artificial light (including TV and computer)
• eat and drink for health
• be physically active
• deliberately think realistically, concretely and positively
• be connected – socially and spiritually*
• practice relaxation, avoid unnecessary stimulation (e.g. movies, internet, loud music)
• place yourself in positive situations, create an uplifting environment (e.g. relaxing music, aromatherapy)
• watch, listen to and read good things; have things to laugh about
• focus on speaking on good things
• be outwardly focused and service oriented
• avoid substances that might impair
• dream about the future, reflect on the past in a positive light (celebrate/give thanks)
• have things to look forward to

* [God]-[Me]-[Others] triangle. Are you drifting without an anchor? Or are you well connected to God (spiritual), others (social) and are you connecting others to God (service).

The pyramid – God at the apex, Personal health/growth/development, Family/Friends, Work/Education/Finance, Service/Community

Then when you’ve regained some of your strength, work on the stress in your life:

• troubleshoot your interpersonal relationships (which may involve setting boundaries, or cutting off toxic people)
• simplify your work (which may involve leaving your current job)
• problem solve the pressures in your life
• re-centre the mind on your values and priorities:
  • “de-compare” – stop looking at others and evaluating your life using the value systems of others
  • redefine the purpose and meaning of your life – e.g. raising your children is your priority and is a worthy pursuit and you have an irreplaceable role in their lives; your “dead end” job is a period of learning new professional skills and overall character development so that you can face the task ahead of you
• work on realistic thinking:
• challenge unhealthy thoughts (about the past, the present circumstances and the future)
  • think honestly
  • think realistically
  • think concretely
  • think objectively
  • think “by faith and not by sight”
• accept your limitations
  • your imperfection
  • the imperfection of others
  • the world is and never will be as it should be
  • most things in life will always be out of your control – do you do things expecting, or hoping for, a specific outcome? That will only lead to disappointment. Things are not going to and don’t have to work out a certain way.
• set goals: commit to change what you can – one baby step at a time

Thoughts on happiness itself:

• Do not sacrifice happiness for success
• Happiness/Suffering (Attitudinal), Success/Failure (Subjective), and Objective Reality are on 3 different parallel planes. They never intersect and are not determined by one another.
• Success does not buy happiness, because the goal posts of what defines “good enough” and “I’ve made it” are constantly shifted
• Similarly, suffering with negative feelings is not the inevitable consequence of “failure” or bad circumstances
• Our subjective appraisal of the objective reality depends a lot on what our expectations are. One person might consider a B grade a success, another might feel it is below their usual standards. A man might be yelled at by different people, but it hurts most when his wife is upset with him because he expects love and understanding from her.
• If anything, happiness is a necessary substrate to live a productive life. Fulfilment comes before Success.

Resources – some ideas derived from:
Dr John Warlow – Wholly Coping
http://www.christianwholeness.com
C. onnect
U. nderstand
R. espond
E. ngage

4 selfs:
Self-esteem
Self-identity
Self-control
Self-centeredness – the only self that needs to die

Square (where are you heading?) – above/below the water level; self/God-centred

Darren Morton – Seven Secrets for Feeling Fantastic
http://www.sevensecretsforfeelingfantastic.com/